UK Depresssion for people 25 and over's Journal|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in
UK Depresssion for people 25 and over's LiveJournal:
|Thursday, June 23rd, 2011|
|Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007|
*newbie alert* :)
Hiya... Thought I'd do a lil intro post and say hi to people. Hope everyone is well :)
So, yus - my name's Sharon, I'm 27 and I've been battling with depression since I was 14. Over the time I have been through various medications, a dozen counsellors, eating disorders, substance abuse and self-harm.
However, this year I am going to sort myself out and look after myself better! I did manage to be clean from self-harm for a year, and free from meds for 2 months, but I went back to both of them earlier this year *sigh* Still, at least I can operate like a decent member of the human race while drugged up to the eyeballs, so i suppose it's all good ;)
I work for a very stressful company, which doesn't help, and i'm out the house 13 hours a day, which doesn't leave much time for relaxing! Still, it gives me the extra push I need to try and get out at the weekends, and the longer daylight hours are really helping! I joined a gym last week and have been trying my best to eat healthily and doing as much exercise as I can.
Atm, I'm quite positive about things - I think i've come to a point in my life that I realise i'm never going to be "normal", but who wants to be normal? I'm me, nothing more, nothing less, and if I have to take pills to make me able to function, then so be it. It's like taking inhalers for my asthma - I don't have to like it, but there's not much else I can do about it!
So yeah, onwards and upwards I say!
Hope everyone else isn't feeling too down. Current Mood: calm
|Saturday, January 13th, 2007|
whoah, new people!
people have joined! yay!
personally i'm pleased, something is growing that isn't my waistline!
not much else to be pleased about right now - 60mg of fluoxetine and i'm still miserable and pessimistic most of the time, apthetic the rest and unable to sleep well ever.
tried mirtazapine but that just made me fat and REALLY depressed. though i could sort of sleep.
so back on fluoxetine, and yanked up from 40mg to 60mg - hopefully just for the winter.
i do loathe bad weather - the howling winds and rain make me feel like it really isn't worth getting up/getting dressed/going out - so unless i have to, i don't.
i stay in bed with my laptop and distract the hours away til i realise sadly another day has passed, i'm another day older, and i've achieved nothing, done nothing, spoken to no one, and nothing has really improved - and i've done nothing to make things any different. it's defeat. i suppose. defeated by life.
after so many years i see no point - nothing seems to be worth making the effort for anymore. i don't look forward to things, i don't get excited by events or the prospect of seeing people, even friends. i just feel sad and angry and frustrated that my life seems so pointless and everyone else is going somewhere and i'm just wilting.
so, from here, despair - to where?
it's the futility of carrying on more than anything that makes it the worst - and knowing that the best things in my life are in the past and nothing i can ever say or do will make them come back and make my life enjoyable anymore.
at least not like it should be, or how it could have been had i been different or done things differently...
|Friday, January 5th, 2007|
i suppose i am somewhat surprised, or disappointed, that no one has come across this group yet. perhaps i wrongly estimate the lj demographic, and over 25 year old uk residents are a paucity of the total footfall on lj space.
perhaps i need to advertise to the relevant communities where one advertises new communities? perhaps my own apathy is mirroring that of others, whose depression is no longer making them seek out help but has inverted itself to the point of self-retrospection and self-implosion.
perhaps someone will prove me wrong by joining, by providing some sort of vibrancy and life to this community, to debate the differences in treatment strategies between the NHS and the perceived "you can have everything" drug culture of our american counterparts who seem to be given one drug to cheer the mood, one to help sleep, one to calm the nerves, one to wake one up in the morning and three others for good measure for pain, appetite and low thyroid levels.
perhaps these things will happen with time?